Inner Work With MaryAnn Walker

Seeking with JJ DiGeronimo

September 07, 2023 MaryAnn Walker, JJ DiGeronimo Episode 58
Inner Work With MaryAnn Walker
Seeking with JJ DiGeronimo
Show Notes Transcript

JJ DiGeronimo is a three-time award-winning author, speaker, and former leading woman in the tech industry. She is passionate about helping women raise their frequencies and empower their future impact through tried-and-tested strategies, mindfulness, and energetic practices.

JJ's story is one of overcoming obstacles and finding her true purpose. After 25 years in the tech industry, she hit a wall from overproducing, over-delivering, and over-committing. She was questioning all aspects of her life and felt like she was her own worst enemy. She tried drinking more wine, sabotaging her marriage, and even considered driving away and never returning.

Eventually, JJ realized that she needed to make a change. She started by seeking professional help and began a journey of self-discovery. She learned how to set boundaries, say no, and take care of herself. She also began to explore her spiritual side and connect with her inner power.

JJ's transformation was profound. She went from feeling overwhelmed to feeling connected to a higher purpose, which led to a determination to share her findings with more women.

Seeking: 74 Key Findings to Raise Your Energy, Sidestep Your Self-Doubts, and Align with Your Life's Work, JJ’s third book, share the strategies that helped her infuse more purpose and meaning into her work and life. The book is filled with short chapters, relevant stories, and specific questions that help readers evaluate their choices, dig through their stories, embrace their gifts, and elevate their energy.

DiGeronimo wrote the book because she believes that "every woman has a unique frequency that vibrates at the frequency of her highest potential." She hopes that Seeking will help women raise their frequency and empower them to believe and align with their highest purpose.

Today, JJ is a successful author, speaker, and spiritual liaison. She shares her story and her strategies with women all over the world. She is on a mission to help women raise their frequencies and empower their future impact.

This conversation centers around JJ's book titled "Seeking: 24 Key Findings to Raise Your Energy, Sidestep Your Doubts, and Align with Your Life's Work." MaryAnn  and JJ discuss various aspects of the book and its relevance to the helpers, healers, and people pleasers. They discuss  mindfulness, intuition, the balance between masculine and feminine energies, navigating relationships with "practicing polluters", and setting boundaries to prioritize oneself. JJ shares her personal journey and experiences, emphasizing the importance of being present, aligning energy, and embracing the idea that life is happening for you. Not to you. The conversation concludes with a focus on personal growth, shifting mindset, and creating a more abundant and empowered life.

Free Resources:

JJ’s Links


So hello and welcome back. I am so excited for today. I would like to welcome JJ DeGeronimo to the show. She is an award winning author and former tech industry leader. She empowers women with tried and tested strategies, mindfulness, and energetic practices to increase their impact and influence in the world. She has been featured in Forbes, The Wall Street Journal, and thrive global. And through her three books, you know, one of which we will be discussing today. She also has keynotes and popular podcasts, career strategies for women that work. And together we seek, and JJ offers proven key findings that help them gain more seats at the table. So you can learn more about her work by going to jjd jaron ramal. com and. Of course, I'm going to link all of her contact information in the show notes, because she is somebody that you are going to want to follow and you are going to want to snag her book. So welcome JJ. I am so excited to have you here. Hi, I'm so happy to be here and I couldn't be more honored that you would take the time to check out my new book. Oh, I love it. I was so excited to read it and I had so many things I wanted to just talk to you about because it has so many amazing points. So, the listeners on my podcast, I kind of speak to the helpers, the healers, and the people pleasers and there is so much value in this book for that population. It was really hard for me to narrow down. What questions to ask, because I just wanted to talk about all of it. Well, I'm very passionate about as well, because it really is my journey to digging out of the things that really have been holding me down and holding me back. And I feel like it was a book I wish I had 10 years ago. It would have made my journey just a little easier, I think. Oh, exactly. I could feel, as you talked in your book about getting those nudges from the universe and those whispers, like I felt that as I was reading just those nudges of like, yeah, like it just opened my eyes as to what is possible. And yeah, it is a beautiful read. So for those of you that are listening, the full title of the book is Seeking 24 Key Findings to Raise Your Energy, Sidestep Your Doubts, and Align with Your Life's Work. And what a beautiful title. Who doesn't want those things in their life? I love it. And even the book cover, you know, it's so funny how the book got published. Like even the book cover, I just don't think like most publishers would have taken the time to create a cover because most of our work starts off the side of our desk. It's not something that's like our main thing. And then it evolves probably very similar to your work. Yeah, well, and that was one of the things that really stood out to me was you talked about how much you can actually accomplish off the side of your desk, how much you can accomplish investing just three hours a week and 12 hours a month. Would you share a bit with our listeners about what you've accomplished off the side of your desk? Well, back in 2006 and eight, I had my children, which are one of my biggest life lessons. And honestly, my biggest joy and accomplishments on so many levels. But if you don't have kids, like you don't know what you're missing. And honestly, it might just not be in your deck of cards. But at that point, I really needed help because I was a career woman that really aspired to achieve the highest level in. And a corporation and it's really hard to keep everything going and I got a whisper to bring the women together and my first thought was. Bring them where, like, who am I, who would come, why would I do that? And so I sat on it for two years. I tried book clubs, I tried, you know, uh, church clubs, I tried community initiatives, I tried wine night out, but it really wasn't filling this gap that I had it within me. And I finally took the step to invite women that I thought could help me on my path. Most of them were women in tech. And so I brought them together, not to talk about tech, but to talk about how they keep everything going. And it really only took three hours some weeks, and then about 12 hours a month to really work on this or 12 hours a quarter. I think it was 12 hours a quarter. So three hours a month, 12 hours a quarter. And now it is like one of the fastest growing LinkedIn groups. Um, and it continues to gain traction, and it's really was the basis of my first book, The Working Woman's GPS. That is so amazing. I mean, truly to have experienced that much growth. And I love that throughout the book, you kind of talked about how you were able to create it by creating something that you really wanted, how you had tried doing things the way that other people had done them and it kind of fell flat. But once you're able to stand in your own power and really think about, okay, what is it that I would like to create for me? What would be most supportive for me and how that really seemed to be kind of the launching point. For your success. But yeah, so can you tell us a bit about what, like, what was that like for you to really step into your own power and let go of the expectation of who you thought you should be? Well, I'd like to jump ahead to 2016 when I got the message to bring the women together outside and I was speaking at a large conference in Seattle. I was a speaker and I was walking off stage and I got a message, bring the women together outside. And I thought it was like that particular moment. Like how am I going to get these women outside? We're in a conference center like that. They're not going to follow me outside. They got to go to their next session, but I continue to get the message. Bring the women outside, bring them outside by the trees, by the music, by the ocean, by the water. And, uh, I sat on that for two years too. And I finally met with an energy practitioner, Dora that said. What are you waiting for? Like you've been told what to do. What are you waiting for? And I said, Nora, I just don't know how to do it. And she graciously shared with me, JJ, build what you want to go to. And I think for me, that was like, so refreshing, because I spent two years thinking about one, how it was going to fail and Why it wasn't going to work. And two, I was trying to keep everybody's interest in mind that it keep kept me at a standstill. And I really wasn't able to get it off the ground until I got those words of wisdom, which then four months later, I started the retreats. And I always like to share like, I had so much doubt because I had never done anything like that before, but things kept moving forward and things kept happening. But even as the women were entering the door of the house that I was hosting the retreats, I still was saying like, I can't believe you did this. Who do you think you are? This is going to fail. They're going to think they paid too much money. They're not going to like the food. And so I feel like the biggest thing I've learned is like, I'm going to have that nagging voice all the time. And I just need to choose whether I'm going to listen to it or not. And if I'm getting messages and whispers from the universe to move forward on something, I have to trust that I am perfectly equipped to make that happen. That is beautiful, truly, because I know, you know, working, especially with the people pleasing community, it's so easy to slide into that trap of, well, I need to do something that's going to make everybody else happy. But the truth is, there's no way to make everybody else happy. The only one that we can really be responsible for is ourselves. And people feel that I think when we're standing in our own integrity and creating something we're truly passionate about, I think that that's what people are really drawn towards. I think so, too. And it's taken me a long time to learn that lesson that, you know, the only way I'm going to sort of change my exterior is change my interior. And for me, this book is different than my other two books, because my other two books are really about how to, you How to maneuver the professional landscape, how to keep everything going when you've said yes, in so many ways, and seeking is really about working from the inside out, which is a huge lesson I had to learn because I was so busy striving for metrics, milestones, accolades, accomplishments, awards. And even with all that, I felt relatively the same. I didn't have this huge bucket of joy that I thought I was running towards. Yeah. Well, and I really love how you really bridge those worlds in that book, in this book here, because for me, you know, I, I started out as an energy practitioner and I thought, okay, well now I want to be a life coach. And in my brain, for some reason I felt like, okay, well those need to be two separate things. And now I'm realizing like, no, like I really want to bridge those two. And this book really seems to bridge. You know, those two parts of self so beautifully, uh, it was just inspiring to see that, yeah, like these can coexist and there's a place for that. And there's, you know, people will find a feeling of belonging and being at home in that space. So I really love what you have created. I think women need it more now than ever, because as I talk about in the book, the corporate America and the business world is so masculine energy. We have to check our knowing at the door and it really gives us. You know, kind of a disadvantage because we're only working with half of our toolkit. So the fact that you're helping women. Maneuver their next most, you know, most people come to life coaches when they have a big event or things are not working out, or they just feel like they just need some guidance on how to do that. But like for so many of us, we work so much in the masculine that bringing in that feminine energy piece helps them trust their intuition and really reconnect from the inside out. Yeah. And you did talk about that briefly in several parts of the book, where you talked about finding that balance of the masculine and feminine, because it's kind of like this pendulum swing, right? Where sometimes we do skew a little bit too far in the masculine, but coming to trust that feminine intuition is such a beautiful thing. So how have you personally come to develop your own feminine qualities and help to really magnify those to help to bring that balance? Well, like probably you and some of your listeners, you know, I did it when I needed to, like, I wasn't like, okay, today I'm going to be more feminine or I'm going to really tap because my masculine energy has gotten me so much success in so many ways. But I realized that I was depleted in so many ways too. And I could only do so much. And I really wanted to have more joy in my life and more connectedness because I was so busy running and gunning all the time and really were busy as a badge of honor that I. Didn't really realize how much I was missing kind of the other side of my life. And it was when things kind of started crumbling in different aspects of my life that I said, you know, I, I mean, I went to a therapist. I started mindfulness classing, and then I started going to energy practitioners more just to seek, just be like, Hey, what do you do? How could I use this to help me kind of work through my stories, kind of get the heaviness out of my body so I can move through life a little bit more freely and a little more. Um, Fluidly through life. And so that really was my intention. And I ended up visiting a ton of lightworkers and energy practitioners. And I learned so much from everyone. But I know people don't have that kind of time all the time. So that's why I took all the best practices and put it in this book, Seeking. I love that. Yeah, it's been so interesting for me. So I just moved my family across the country and I prebooked some sessions with some various practitioners because I knew I was going to need something to fill my cup after that move. And it was so interesting to see, even with these practitioners that have nothing to do with each other, the message that kept coming through was You need to cultivate and connect in with that divine feminine. And I kind of shrugged it off the first time it was mentioned. I was like, no, like I'm doing that. And then the next time I heard it, it's like, no, really, you need to connect in even more with that divine feminine. And I love that I was receiving all of those messages at the same time. I'm reading your book and I love it. When I get those messages from multiple sources, it's just kind of like amplifies that message that no, now is the time to really feed that divine feminine, really lean into it and create that abundance through that intuition and that ease and that flow, which are all such beautiful feminine qualities. So I just loved how it all just came together. That's so beautiful. And I believe it's available to all of us. And it's part of our toolkit that we've been taught not to tap into. And, you know, I'm sure you have a variety of listeners, but probably many are women. And I would say that, you know, women hold the keys to so much knowledge. And I feel like there's many things that want us to forget how powerful we really are. Yeah. And speaking about receiving that knowledge and that insight, one of the things you talked about that I just loved reading was using our emotions to gain information and specifically to gain information around our values and our passions. And so I'm really curious if you could please share with our listeners a little bit about how has mindfulness around your emotions really helped you to fine tune and, and reach and strive for your passions. Well, mindfulness for me has been a game changer, and, uh, as I share in the book, it was not easy. I, because I was so type A, so driven, uh, just so living in the masculine, like, mindfulness took me a long time to really get the hang of because I didn't really appreciate just sitting there and paying attention to what I was thinking about. Because I wanted to think about stuff that was auction based. I wanted to create my grocery list or get that project off my desk. And I think that mindfulness for me gave me the ability to be in the present moment and be aware of what is happening both inside me and outside me. And outside me and taking that information and deciding what I want to do with it, rather than what I used to do, which was acting on every thought I ever had, which sometimes you just need some space between you and your thoughts and you need to dissect them and say, do I really want to listen to that? Because had I listened to that, I would have never gotten my retreats off the ground because I was so hard on myself and I constantly doubted my ability. And having mindfulness, it gave me the ability to be aware of those conversations I was having, but not necessarily lean into them. In fact, I've even learned how to compartmentalize those, especially if I'm like, well, let me just see what I can do here. So, and I got that. Let me just see from Jen's and Sarah's book. You're a badass. Like, let me just see what I can do. But I think now that I'm in the present moment, more than not. I can assess how I feel about certain situations, what really revs me up. What are things I really don't care about and what are things I don't really want to do anymore. And I feel like being in the present moment with the tools like mindfulness, it gives you the ability to really align yourself to things that you really want to do or be part of so that you can be the impact you desire. You don't have to be super busy to be impactful. You can be selective and align your energy things to things that matter. And it's amazing how much momentum you can get in those types of scenarios. Oh, that was so much juicy goodness in that response. Thank you so much. It's hard for me to even know what things to pick out and, and dissect a little bit more. Uh, but it did remind me of something that you did say in the book where you said, um, when you were planning your first event and you had those fears coming in and you're like, okay, well, what's the worst case scenario is that nobody's going to show up. But then using that mindfulness, you're able to reframe that to no, like realistically the worst thing that's going to happen is I will have a. Spiritual weekend for myself. And I thought it was such a beautiful way to focus on the abundance, that was just such a beautiful mindset shift. It was so helpful working with Dora. And that's why I think energy practitioners are so valuable and coaches because they help you gain like another viewpoint. Sometimes you're in your head so much it's hard to like get that other viewpoint. And I think if you can tie really aligning energy. Good or bad to certain situations. You can understand why you're making decisions or why you're talking yourself in or out of situations. And so I think it's amazing the work you do because you combined both the action with the connection. And I think a lot of women can benefit from that because they're living so much outside their body that they have to get back into their body and say, how does this feel for me? Is this something I really want to do? Am I not doing it because I don't want to do it or I might not do it because I'm afraid that I may fail. And I think a lot of women are sitting on the edge thinking, I want to do it, but I'm afraid I'll fail. And honestly, we need to push through that energy because we need more women at more tables. Because the world is too lopsided right now. Too much masculine energy. Yeah. It was just really inspiring to just hear about your personal journey with that. Well, and I'd like to share, like, it's funny because this is my third book and you think it'd be like so easy for me to get this published, but I actually got six really big no's, six really big no's on how. Like, and I actually ended up publishing it on my own and pulling my books back so I could help more women get published because if I'm getting no's, like, how hard is it for other women? And the funny thing is, the book would have never been the same had I published it when I was So Circulating the book. Um, the book proposal. And so it was like the universe wanted me to do it my own way. Wanted the short chapters, definitely wanted the cover, wanted to talk about business and energy, which is what a lot of people came back and said, we don't, we can't put this into a category because it doesn't really fit its energy and its business. So we don't know what to do with it. Uh, which is exactly what it is. It's a bridge book for people to cross over to both. So the fact that you're already doing this work and the book resonates with you means like that's exactly what was supposed to happen. But the point of telling the story is like, you might get a ton of no's, but that does not mean it's no forever. And it just might not be where it's supposed to fit for you. Like if I would have listened to all those publishers, I would have never published this book. And I feel like it's just one of those things that came through me. Oh, absolutely. 100%. And I, you know, I'm a firm believer that the fastest energetic shifts happen like as quick as a thought we can shift our thoughts. And what I really appreciate about this book is all of the questions that it has in it, all of the, the, The things that help to make your thoughts a little bit more concrete so that you can see where you're at a bit more clearly, like if you are new to mindset work, this is a great place to start because JJ asks the specific questions to help you to gain that clarity and see where you're at and gently helps to nudge you towards a more supportive way of thinking. In fact, yeah, there was a few things in here. Um, you know, like I do often talk to the people pleasers, as I said, and so, um, it's really interesting to see. I really appreciated your chapter on. Oh, let's see. What did you call it? The practicing polluter. You said, you talked about the practicing polluter in your life. Somebody that has essentially chosen to take on the role of a victim in their life. And I think that many of us know somebody like that. And especially if you're, you know, a helper and a healer and a people pleaser, it's very easy to, um, those people tend to seek us out, right? So how do you navigate relationship? You had such practical ideas, but how do you navigate relationship with the people that are self identified victims or those practicing polluters, as you said? Well, what I used to do when a lot of those people came my way, which is not as many anymore, because I think my frequency is a lot higher. But initially I would say, you know, I'm totally into like getting out things that are bugging me, but let's give it like seven minutes and then let's move on to something that is empowering because we don't want. That situation to take any more of our time. So I used to kind of give people sort of boundaries of how long we could talk about things in the most loving way. But then there were people that just blew through that. And I was like, you know what, I'm really working to raise my energy. And if I, because when I was, especially when I was writing this book, like I really had to say to very high energy level to write this book, because it has such a high frequency, the book, and I just need to really stay in that level. And so when I started writing the book, which is about three years ago, I said, you know, I really need to keep my energy high. So I can't be talking about things that I'm going to have to then work my energy back up to. And some people, of course, look at me like I was crazy. Some people ignored me. Some people just stopped talking to me. And some people were like, okay, yeah, let me support you. It doesn't even matter. It's really more about you setting boundaries of what you will put up with and what you're going to engage in and what I didn't realize years ago when I was swimming in the mud puddle and probably a practicing polluter myself as I was so negative to myself and so negative to other people, even if I didn't come out of my mouth, I'd be like, Oh, my gosh, why didn't someone fill up the coffee machine? Why? Is somebody wearing that? What the heck are they thinking saying that? Even though I never said it, it was occupying my thoughts all the time. And so I've had to do inventories of my thoughts to say, okay, am I more positive or am I more negative? Because what you think about is what you create in your life. So if you have a bunch of practicing polluters around you, hate to say it, but I like attracts like, and even if you're not saying it out loud, you might be beating the crap out of yourself or other people. You might be in relationships that are really bring out the worst in you, you might be in the wrong job, it doesn't really matter, but you have the opportunity to shift your energy at any point. And when you shift your energy, which is what you think about, what you watch, what you listen to, what you say, when you shift your energy, the people around you will shift. So true. So true. I love that. Yeah. And that we kind of can set the tone for the relationship, but yeah, like you said, the like attracts, like, so if you catch yourself in those negative thought loops to just check in and be like, okay, what am I creating? What am I attracting and how can I elevate it? And it's interesting. And you talked about how, um, your circles will change as you kind of elevate self. And I think either your circles were changed in that they will also choose to level up. Or they might choose another path because it's not congruent with what it is that they're creating. But yeah, hands down, your circles will change and things. Yeah, you asked one question in the book during, in one of the journal prompts, but she said, you said, who would fall out of my life if I prioritized me? And I was such a powerful question when you just reflect on, okay, who is in my life? What is it that we are creating as a unit? Is it something I want to create on purpose and generally speaking, if, if it's a relationship that's in balance where we're maybe giving more to them than we're receiving, like what would happen if I dedicated some time to prioritize me, be it to plan that event or to write that book like you did, or whatever it is that you're choosing on your life's journey. But those can be very good sources of information to see if you're in alignment in those relationships. Yeah. And especially for pleasers, like, and, and just people that do a lot when you do a lot of, a lot of people ask you to do more. And I think now I have this power of no chart and exercise, which I'll share with you. You can put in the link, but basically it's like, gives you an opportunity to think about what is being asked of you and understand, is it something you want to do right now? And giving you tools to say, like, No, no, you know, or pass it to somebody else or giving you options of maybe restructuring the ask. So if someone asks you to do something that's 40 hours, can you get it down to six hours? And I have real strategies that I use in my books to do that because sometimes I want to help people, but not in the way that it shows up. Yeah. Yeah. And as you say, to take the time to really feel in, to see if you can give it a yes or not, you know, earlier in the conversation, you talked about how you just allow yourself seven minutes to fill the negative emotion and then choose into something else. But maybe you even just take the seven minutes to think on, okay, like we oftentimes feel this urgency that we're supposed to say yes or no in the moment, but what if you just took a minute to just check in and see, okay, well, what would that be creating for me? Is it something I really want to do? What's my reason for doing it? Is it because I'm afraid that I might lose this relationship? Or is it coming from that solid place of abundance and just checking in with self again, coming back to that mindfulness? Yeah. Yeah. Because life really comes down to you. Everything happening outside of you is really a reflection of what's happening inside of you. So if you're constantly doing for others, you obviously have to do some self work on loving yourself because you're looking for love and approval from others. If you're doing a bunch for them and not enough for yourself. And so. Doing the energy work, meeting with a coach, sitting down and really working through your stories is so important if you want you to get more out of this life experience. Yes, definitely. And doing it intentionally and on purpose, right? To learn, okay, this is what I really want to create. Not just haphazardly going through life, but making space for those things that are of value of you, that do feed your passion, that do uplift and inspire, even if it's only for you in this moment. You know, I do believe eventually if you're following your own personal passion and guidance, The other people will be inspired by that and come along, you know, there it's eventually going to happen. That ball will keep rolling and you can create that beautiful life. And that's exactly what, um, what you've done with your seeking community. So yeah, it's been beautiful. Thank you. Well, it has been so nice to have you on JJ, is there anything that you'd like to share with the listeners in closing? I think the biggest lesson I've gained from all the work that I've done is life is happening for you. I used to go through life thinking life is happening to me and it gave me the ability to feel like the victim, like, oh, poor me, or why isn't this worked out? Or of course that wasn't going to happen. But now I go through life thinking life is happening for me. And I'm constantly looking for the lesson and having gratitude for the people like yourself that have crossed my path, because I know now that all the work has allowed me to be at a higher energy level, which is what I call frequency, because I have gratitude for what I've gone through, what is happening right now, and excited for what is ahead. And I feel like I was the last person that I think could have gotten here. So if I can do it, anybody can do it. I love that. Yeah, it's such a simple mindset shift, right? It sounds so easy. And of course, it Can be a bit more challenging when you're new to it, but to ask yourself that question, how is this working for me? Cause it does feel really uncomfortable to be in that space when we do feel like the victim, right? But there's no power in victimhood, but when we can ask ourselves, okay, how is this happening for me? What can I learn? And oftentimes, you know, I've learned for myself, sometimes the only lesson learned is that I now have a bit more compassion for other people. That have had a similar experience, but even that helps to soften. And, and it helps me to let go a little bit of that victimization where it's like, wow, like how beautiful that I can now experience more warmth and compassion and love towards somebody else having a similar experience. Like there really is so much power in just asking, how is this happening for me? I love that. So beautiful. I love your light. You shine so bright and I just I'm really lucky to have this time with you. So thank you, Marianne. Well, thank you so much. It has been so nice chatting with you. And of course, to everybody that's listening, please check out the show notes. And I will tell you all of the ways that you can get in touch with JJ, definitely go and check out her book. Um, even if you just get it for the journaling prompts, you're going to experience so much growth. So thank you so much, JJ, for putting out such amazing things into this world. And yeah, I can't wait to see what's next. Oh, thank you. Okay. Well, thank you so much. See ya. Bye bye.