Inner Work With MaryAnn Walker: Life Coach for Empaths, Highly Sensitive People & People Pleasers

“Honestly, Coaching Changed My Life.” Coaching with Florence Matina

August 28, 2023 MaryAnn Walker Episode 56
“Honestly, Coaching Changed My Life.” Coaching with Florence Matina
Inner Work With MaryAnn Walker: Life Coach for Empaths, Highly Sensitive People & People Pleasers
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Inner Work With MaryAnn Walker: Life Coach for Empaths, Highly Sensitive People & People Pleasers
“Honestly, Coaching Changed My Life.” Coaching with Florence Matina
Aug 28, 2023 Episode 56
MaryAnn Walker

In this bonus episode MaryAnn Walker is talking with actress and entrepreneur, Florence Matina. Florence shares that, "Honestly, Coaching Changed My Life."

In this episode, Florence shares her experience with coaching as well as a few insights she's gained along the way.  Here are a few of her insights:

-Embrace all of your emotions.
-Take massive action. Not passive action. NOW is the time!
-Embracing discomfort is what gets you to where you want to go.
-You have to get used to the idea of falling to learn to ride a unicycle. Scrapes are part of the process of learning.
-Be patient with yourself.
-Find your authentic self and your authentic path.
-Consistency is key.
-Make life more fun through side quests.

Thanks so much for coming on, Florence!

If you want to work with MaryAnn to see how coaching can change your life, come and apply now at www.maryannwalker.life

Show Notes Transcript

In this bonus episode MaryAnn Walker is talking with actress and entrepreneur, Florence Matina. Florence shares that, "Honestly, Coaching Changed My Life."

In this episode, Florence shares her experience with coaching as well as a few insights she's gained along the way.  Here are a few of her insights:

-Embrace all of your emotions.
-Take massive action. Not passive action. NOW is the time!
-Embracing discomfort is what gets you to where you want to go.
-You have to get used to the idea of falling to learn to ride a unicycle. Scrapes are part of the process of learning.
-Be patient with yourself.
-Find your authentic self and your authentic path.
-Consistency is key.
-Make life more fun through side quests.

Thanks so much for coming on, Florence!

If you want to work with MaryAnn to see how coaching can change your life, come and apply now at www.maryannwalker.life

Well, hello and welcome back. So I want to welcome Florence Matina to the show. I have had the honor and privilege of working with Florence for about the last six months or so. And it has been just so inspiring for me to just witness her journey and see all of the things that she's doing. Florence is an entrepreneur launching the family sauce business and is also an actress and just wear so many hats and has so many things going on in her life and it has just been really amazing to just see her growth. So thank you so much for being here, Florence. Yeah, of course. Thank you for having me. I'm really excited. So do you want to tell us a little bit about yourself? Yes. Like you said, I am an aspiring actress and entrepreneur. I am the oldest, of three Younger brothers. I'm pretty much a chauffeur for my youngest right now. I love to cook. I love fun and I have a lot of big dreams. I definitely have a lot of big dreams. So yeah, About me. Yeah. And that's been the most fun part about working with you is just seeing all of your dreams and how you have been able to just bring them all into fruition. Like, I think that you're really an example of what is possible. You know, I know one of the main things we've worked on. It's kind of like budgeting out time so that you can achieve all of these goals, but it has been truly amazing. You know, some people I might be like, well, I don't know. Let's maybe focus on one of this. Lawrence, I'm just like, Oh yeah. Like she's got this. Sure. Sure. Let's work in every area. Yes. Yes. Thank you. Honestly. Yeah. I mean, it was overwhelming at first, but then like, yeah, with your guidance, I could really take a look at my day and I was like, all right, yeah, this is, it can be possible. Yeah, it's possible. It's been just amazing to see what you've been able to accomplish. So yeah. So what originally brought you to coaching? Well, I would. burnout a lot. I always had pretty much the goals that I brought to you. acting, business, real estate, just, I, I always knew that I wanted a career in those paths, but I didn't know how to get to that point, I guess. So I would just sort of go really hard at the beginning and I was excited and like, oh, this is fun, but then it just would get to a point where it wasn't as fun, and I was like, okay, like, it's not going as fast as I want, I'm a recovering perfectionist, so, you know, that took a toll on me, too, because I'm like, oh, this isn't going how I want it, and then I would just stop, like, everything, and, I would just get really overwhelmed, and I didn't know how to cope with it. Yeah. My feelings, my emotions during that time, Didn't know how to keep myself accountable, or hold myself accountable for, I guess, just... Doing just what I need to do, you know, and so I finally was like, well, I still know that I want to do these things and I need help. So I think it's gonna be just so relatable to so many people. Like I know a lot of my listeners really do struggle with the burnout and the perfectionism and it is hard because I think that we feel really confident and yeah, I can maintain this for. It's about this long, right? Yeah. And then we hit that wall. So yeah, so how have you learned to navigate breaking through those walls and what has that looked like for you? Definitely a lot more planning. also being conscious of my thoughts when it comes to certain tasks. I was a lot more negative than I thought I was. and that, Took a toll on my day to day life. and yeah, so planning as well. And then also just like, I guess not giving up. I know that there were some sayings that you would give me. Mm hmm. that really helped me a lot. And this is not word for word, but... Like, the unicycle, like, you just have to get on it and just do it, you have to take, like, that massive action, you know, of actually putting your feet on the pedals, you know, falling over and over, and that, I feel like, has really helped me, to really just keep pushing, and just knowing that life is not that Perfect. A lot of it had to do with, like, my thought process, I think, to be honest. It's going to web and flow. I mean, it's going to be all over the place, roller coaster. And I guess being able to learn about yourself and how you deal, with your emotions. Or, when something doesn't go your way, being able to be like, okay, well. That's all right. Mm hmm. That's okay. I'm strong and I can keep going because it's not over Life is a journey. I mean I have to start over every single day To be like, okay, like what did I do? You know, I know that even last week I had a little bit of hard time like the beginning of the week. I was feeling a little cruddy and then I was like, okay, you have your planner you know what you need to do. Having support around me, people that believe in me as well helps me a lot to remember my goal. I love that. Yeah. So you referenced quite a few things. So I'm just going to kind of just reflect a few of those back. So one of the things that Florence was referring to was a conversation I shared with her, something that my mentor shared with me that. To learn how to ride a unicycle, you have to actually ride the unicycle and essentially be falling off of the unicycle for about 10 hours before you can learn how to ride a unicycle. And, and I think that's especially applicable to the perfectionists, right? Where it's like, we want to think, no, but if I just read enough books. I should be able to just know how to ride a unicycle right out of the gate. I'm not going to fall. I'm not going to experience any negative emotion. I'm not going to experience any scraped knees or scraped elbows. I can just do it. And so it's interesting then how much we beat ourselves up, right? Cause you really talked to about, the negative self talk and it's interesting because sometimes we think our negative self talk is the truth. But to just take a minute and be like, no, that's not necessarily the truth. That's something I'm choosing to think and something I'm choosing to believe, but until we really get curious about it, we might be having a lot of negative self talk, but we're not even aware that we're having negative self talk. We think we're being a realist, right? But really it's that idea of perfectionism that's kind of holding us back and preventing us from even getting on the unicycle, let alone being brave enough. To fall off of a unicycle for 10 hours until we can learn how to balance that. Uh, you also talked about processing those negative emotions. So what has that looked like for you and, and what has been the most eye opening for you as you've come to really feel into how to process emotions and what that looks like? Yeah, I definitely, can see it a lot quicker, when I'm having a hard time with something, I tend to procrastinate something if I'm feeling scared or nervous, and being able to, identify, why am I feeling nervous, you know, like, what are my thoughts behind that, and, well, because I'm scared to step out of my bubble, maybe, um, I'm scared maybe they'll say no. And a lot of those thoughts that, create that emotion for me, a lot of them are irrational. I mean, I know that we would talk about it and it's like, well, what's the worst case scenario with this person? Like, how would they reject you, or whatever, and when I really actually thought about it, I was like, yeah, I mean, they would definitely help me. I mean, a lot of those negative thoughts are irrational, and honestly, thinking a little too far ahead, not being very present. and, I guess just being able to identify it a little bit at first and just reviewing, going through my, my head. I mean, me, personally, I'm sort of always in my head, so I'm always just like talking to myself in there, and so it can get a little chaotic. Yeah. But, just keeping, you know, going back, backwards, I guess. Like, the thoughts, and then the actions, and, being able to... Overcome it because I know that's another thing that you did say was that it's okay to have these feelings, you know, like you can embrace it for that moment, but like, don't, don't push it away because it's going to come back harder. And that's something I've always done, and it makes it worse down the road, you know, so being able to recognize Okay, yeah, I am scared. Mm hmm. That's alright. That's fine. And it gets a lot easier dealing with it when you can, like, push through, after getting to the bottom of what you're, issue was, I guess, underlying issue with the negativity. Yeah. I know that's something else that we talked about and kind of worked through too, was like, yeah, like those negative emotions, they're just a part of it. That's part of falling off of the unicycle. Right? Like I remember one of our conversations was, okay, what negative emotions are you willing to experience in order to get to where you want? So yeah. So like, she's totally going to be on the big screen one day, you guys. So like totally watch for Florence, but like in order to get there, right. You have to work through. What does rejection feel like? What does insecurity feel like? What does putting yourself out there feel like, and am I willing to experience those things and be willing to put myself out there, even though there's going to be some negative emotion involved, knowing that ultimately after I've fallen off of that unicycle for 10 hours, I'm going to get there. As I've continued to accept, those negative emotions, honestly, a lot of them have sort of changed, like, when it comes to certain things that used to freak me out before, or send me into, like, a craze. Um, I've noticed that I'm approaching it a lot different because I've been, accepting the fear or the... nervousness or any negativity, anything. It's just, it has shifted. So it doesn't really feel like that. As much anymore. You know, it's a lot easier. Yeah. Yeah. And that's something that's been beautiful to witness is just that you're now willing to be uncomfortable and do it anyway. It's like, yeah, cause we want to feel good about it. Right. Whether we're working out or going to an audition or whatever, it's like, no, I'm going to do this as long as this is fun, but sometimes it's just not fun. Sometimes it's super sucks and it doesn't feel very good, but you keep showing up anyway. And that's when you get the results. So speaking of results, like what are the biggest changes that you have experienced through coaching? I mean, honestly, it really has. changed my life. Uh, it's changed my outlook on life. It's changed my outlook on myself. like, I feel like I understand myself a lot more. which is so important in this big world where we see so many people, like, whether it be social media or like, there's just so many people out in the world. and, you know, the things that I felt, I felt a little delusional sometimes. Um, and Like, oh, no, like, you're doing too much, but after having, like, these sessions with you and being able to plan out, you know, like, my day's scheduling, figuring myself out, I began to realize, like, yeah, I can do this and it's fun. I feel like life seems a lot more fun. There's just a brighter outlook, on it. I'm a lot more positive and I don't feel like I have a lot of regret. I know that like looking back at my life, my biggest regret was like not doing things that I wanted to do. And right now I'm doing everything that I want to do, you know? Of course success and these, different things is a want, you know? I mean, but... I think it's sort of transformed into something that is just like, I don't know. It's just, it's just fun. It's, it's keeping me alive, you know? So I mean, yeah, even if success comes here or there, whatever, that's great, but I'm just really loving life. That's awesome. I love that. But you said it changed your life, changed your outlook, changed your views of yourself. I love that. That is awesome. Thank you so much for sharing. And, as you were talking, I was remembering one conversation that was also very insightful for me because I know that I've done the same thing. Anyway, when you'd shared about the time when you're like, well, there's just not enough time. And, and so we budgeted out your day, right? Cause like I said, like Florence has so many different things that she is working on at the same time, like so many balls in the air. So we set up a schedule and so there was time for everything. And it was so interesting. Cause one day then she's like, Kayla, I know we budgeted, I think it was like an hour and a half or something for one thing. And you're like, I don't know if that's enough time. So we kind of added up like how much that would be each day. If you invested an hour and a half into this one aspect and then kind of compared it with, so how much you currently investing into that part of self. And you're like, Oh, like significantly less. It was so interesting to see like how much you could accomplish just by setting aside, you know, 60 to 90 minutes a day. Oh yeah, for sure. cause before I wasn't really taking a look at the time, I guess. So I was like, Oh, well, I mean, I'm doing stuff for the business, you know, like doing the acting stuff. So like what's going on here, you know? But yeah, when we were looking at it and then actually. doing the time. I was like, wow, you know, like this is It's actually a lot of time and I actually had to start writing down like, you know, some topics or some things for me to do just so like I could fill up the time. Yeah. That's what Yeah. So, um, yeah, that makes a big difference. Yeah. Which for me personally, that's been one of the benefits of coaching too. Right? Like I'm a coach that gets coached. I totally believe in coaching and it can be so nice to have somebody else reflect back to you. Cause we get stuck in our heads that, well, I should be doing this. This is going to take, you know, so much time, but we're thinking it's going to take so much time. We don't actually ever budget the time. So then that perfectionism keeps us stuck because we have this vision in our head of what it should look like. And then it's like, but when you can actually just map it out and be like, let's just try it out. Let's just see what happens. You know, if I work out for 20 minutes a day for 30 days, like what's going to happen? You know, it's like, it's like, just start small as it might be more than what you're currently doing. Give it a go, see what happens. And it's like been amazing to see how much you've been able to grow through just dedicating that little bit of time and space each day to each of your priorities. It's been pretty inspiring. Oh, for sure. Thank you. Yeah. For no, for sure though. even just starting off small, I started off smaller. I started off small for some things. I was like, yeah, I don't know, because I was a little scared that I was going to burn out again. I'm like, okay, well, now this is for real. but yeah, the small, the smallest thing in your daily life, like, as long as you're being consistent and being true to yourself, then I mean, you're going to find changes, you know, you're going to find, even small successes are very important, you know, it's not always just about the big. Yeah. I love that. Being consistent and true to yourself. I love that. So what advice would you give others that are on a similar journey that like want to create all of these things and they're starting all these projects and have that bit of perfectionism? What advice would you give them? Keep trying, keep going. I know I said this earlier, but it really is. A journey, you know, I mean, I'm still, I still struggle a little bit with perfectionism and like staying in, that passive action, you know, like researching the blah, blah, blah. Like, I know sometimes I can get stuck in that and I have to tell myself like, okay, what's a massive action you can do, you know, who can you contact? To, Gain more knowledge of whatever's going on, like they could totally connect you with other people, you know, and I know communication was like a hard thing for me, so I've definitely been working on that, you know, and contacting people, connecting with people, and I guess like also finding Support in your own way, too, because that also helps you go a long way, people that are there for you. I mean, they could not even, have major interest in that kind of stuff. My family doesn't really have, like, major interest in, like, acting and stuff, but they support me. My little brother will help me with auditions, you know? Yeah. Um, having that support can also help you a long way, but even if you don't, you have yourself, you know? And, a really important thing is also, figuring out who you are and what makes you tick, you know, what can comfort you when you're not having the best time, what motivates you and just keep trying, keep trying really. I mean, that's life, you know, and it's never too late to start really, yeah. I love it. I'm writing all of it down. So yeah, keep trying. Keep going. And I love that you talked about to the passive action versus the massive action. Cause so often we think because we're running on the hamster wheel in our head that we're getting somewhere, but it's like, no, what are the actual action steps that you're taking? So I love that you addressed that. And also the key of like finding out who you are, what makes you tick, what motivates you? And then it's never too late. That's awesome. So what advice would you give to other young entrepreneurs? I think relationships is a really big thing. And with that, even if, you've never started something, you really just need to get out and do. I'm sure that there's even, like, one person around you that, like, has, like, a business or something, you know. And talk with them, you know. talk with them, get out there, and. And also remember this is something that you told me that this is what building a business looks like. I've been telling myself that and now. You know, like it's not going to be consistently upward, you know, like there's going to be times when it's like, just like that. And when it comes to the creative side for certain things too, you also have to have patience, you know, patience is a really big thing. But I feel like as long as you continue punching through, you know, doing your part, Getting yourself out there and honestly, yeah, just massive action, just doing. Mm-hmm. I think that you'll find success somewhere, you know? I love it. Yep. That we learn through the doing, huh. Yeah. And yeah, it is so interesting to think on our vision of well, what do we think success looks like? And it's interesting'cause it's sometimes easier to see in other people that, well, yeah, of course it's gonna go up and down. Mm-hmm. like of course it is. Yeah. But we think for us it should just all be linear. Mm-hmm. And it's like, okay, but really, What does building a business look like? Like, you learn through the doing, you learn through the struggle and you come out on the other side better because of it. I know for sure I, I would get caught up in finding these success stories, you know, like I'd be like, okay, how did they do with this? How did they do with that? how did they get there? And pretty consistently throughout all of them, like they really are just. They're like, okay, I know what I want. I know what I want to do. So yeah, they just set out and it did take time. It's not like it was overnight, you know, a lot of times like, oh, overnight success. It's never like that. Maybe there's like a very rare case, but, it's time. It's time, you know, it takes time, but that's also okay. Like you have to, find your motivation, I guess, to continue. That's awesome. So yeah. So tell us a bit more about what your goals are for the future and what we can expect to see from you in the coming years or months. Yeah. Okay. Months, months and years. Oh, well, okay. So my goals, I actually got to be in like a little commercial recently, which was fun. Yeah, but I definitely want to perform more. Film, definitely film is like where I'd like to be. But yeah, movies. That would be awesome and creating too though, because I told myself That I'm going to make like a social media account like a YouTube account for all the ideas that I have because I just like writing down stuff in my notes for skits or sketches or even short films and I write them out, so that's a goal of mine to get those out there, start recording. I actually did start, I've been getting my one of my brothers, I've been training him a little bit so he can participate with me in some of this stuff. I was like, okay, I've been looking at videos, I figured out like how to do some lighting stuff, you know. Like, you just have to be active in, different ways, like, if you're stuck in something, you find something else to do that's in the same lines, I guess, so, yeah, definitely film for acting, and I would like my, sauce business, sauce and spice business to become big, that would be awesome, but, I'm also really, I think I'm more excited to like create the brand. Um, and figure out, you know, like who we are as a brand and what we represent and who we are here for. And bring fun into things. I'm a really big person. I know that I told you before, I think several times, I'm like, Oh, it's just not fun. Um, my reasoning for not doing things. Yeah, it's not fun. Um, but you know, I feel like there's still like ways that you can bring fun into things, and, yeah, that's just something that I want to do, with that branding, just have fun. I'm really just trying to make fun, at least for other people, you know? Like, bring, like, a different kind of light out there. I've actually, just a way to get it out there. I mean, my parents have, like, always done, like, catering type stuff. But also, I mean, I do love to cook, and I think that food is such a fun thing that connects people. And I'll be starting to do, I'll start to do that. We haven't named, like, the actual catering business, but I have created, like, a menu and stuff. And I've been cooking a lot more. Yeah? Nice. Yeah, just. these, like, little side quests I'm, like, doing along the way, but, yeah. And then, I don't really talk about real estate a whole lot, but, I mean, I want to rebuild. I mean, Casey's growing a lot. Um, and so I sort of want to be, there along the ride, you know, to help rebuild it. And, like, I mean, I've always really liked, cutesy things, but I think that it would just be really cool to create places, you know, that people can stay. And yeah, you know, remodeling. Yeah. And that's what I love about Florence is like, she's a dreamer and I totally believe she can do anything she wants. And even if she's saying that, Oh yeah, like, you know, I, I'd like to, you know, build a brand for the spice and sauce business. Like it's already pretty popular, right. People know you and they want it and, and it's something that people crave and look forward to. And, and so, yeah, so I have no doubt that the business is going to take off. Your acting career is taking off and yeah, so I can't wait to see what you're going to do next. Thank you. Yeah, so thank you so much for coming on. Yeah. Is there anything else that you want to share with everybody? I think I think that we sort of covered a lot of stuff here. I guess just, you know, find out who you are, be true to yourself. And, you know, life's a journey. Yeah, life's a journey. So find your path. I love it. Yep. And like I talked about, like, just keep going, right? You're going to fall off of the unicycle. I loved also how you even talked about all of your different, all the different hats that you're wearing and all of your adventures as side quests. Like I said, make it fun. I'm like, what's more fun than a fun little side quest? Yeah. SideQuest instead of, instead of a job. Yeah. Seriously. Yeah. How fun is that mind flip? That's how I like to call them. I love it. Well, thank you so much for coming on and for being here and it's been great chatting with you. Yeah. It's been really fun. Thank you for having me again. All right. We'll talk soon. See ya. All right. Bye.