This week we are getting curious about what comes up for us when we either see someone else celebrating their wins, or we have a win of our own to share. For some, celebrating comes easy, for others, not so much. This week is all about getting curious about what is coming up for YOU. There is so much information to be gained when we are able to recognize not only what we think and feel around other people's successes , but also what we are thinking and feeling when we are entertaining the idea of celebrating our own success. As you get curious about your internal reaction to another's success, notice if you're thinking thoughts like:
Some common hesitations around sharing ones own success are:
Notice not only what the thoughts are that are arising, but notice what these thoughts create for you. More than likely the above thoughts are not going to create warm, fuzzy and supportive feelings. As we increase our capacity to celebrate ourselves and intentionally eliminate thoughts of comparison, it not only increases our capacity to celebrate others, but our own sense of abundance. Try on these more abundant celebratory thoughts and see how they feel:
A more abundant life is just a thought away. And the more we focus on our "wins" the more our mind will be wired to look for them, which reinforces an abundance mindset!
Want to learn more? Come and listen to this weeks podcast episode, Celebrating Wins: A Curious Exploration, on my podcast, Inner Work with MaryAnn Walker.
Looking for customized support? Click here to apply to work with me.
And hey, I want to hear what you're celebrating so I can celebrate with you! Click the social media buttons below to share your win!
Here's to a week of celebrating YOU!
Click here to find me on social media to celebrate your wins or to apply to work with me! A more abundant life is just a thought away. Looking for customized support? Click here to apply to work with me!
Well, hello and welcome back. So I just went to open up my blinds so I could have more natural lighting for the YouTube video that I'm putting up of this very episode. And you guys, it is snowing outside and it is so magical and so amazing. And I'm looking out my window and I can see the gorgeous mountains out here. And it's so interesting to compare how I view the seasons living here in Northern Utah versus when we were living in Kansas. Since Kansas didn't have any mountains, it was kind of interesting to notice my perception of the seasons, because I could only see what was in my immediate proximity, right? So it seemed like when I was living in Kansas, fall lasted for about a week and then a storm would come through and knock all the leaves off and then that would be the end. And so it's really interesting to see when fall was coming. I could see. See the colors coming down the mountain, getting closer and closer. So it seemed like fall lasted a bit longer. And then with winter coming first, I saw the snow at the tops of the mountains and it slowly made its way down. Anyway, just kind of an interesting thing to think about, about how interesting it is, that idea of perception. When you can see something coming how it kind of shifts that perception versus just radically accepting What is your current reality? Anyway, that was a very random tangent, but It was just kind of fun for me to just notice the difference in how I Engage with and receive the weather now that we've moved here. It's pretty fascinating Before we get started, I wanted to share with you some exciting things that are going on in my coaching world. I use an app to help me with scheduling out my content. And so I can just look on my calendar and I can just drop over content, have it all typed up, and then schedule it out so that I can essentially be posting on social media even when I'm not on social media, right? So one of the really cool things that this app does for me is it compiled all of the data for 2023 and then sent it to me. So, you guys, in 2023, When it combined my TikTok, my Instagram, my Facebook, I reached over 4. 5 million people. What? That totally blew my mind. That means that there are over 4. 5 million People in this world that have hopefully been helped or inspired or uplifted in some way Because of the content that I've been sharing and that's just on my social media, right? That's not including this podcast What a cool thing to actually see those hard numbers of how many people have been reached by me in 2023 I thought that was awesome Now, another one that I wanted to share was that one of my listeners came and commented on TikTok. So I wanted to give a shout out to her. Hello, Krista T. Thank you so much for saying hi. You totally made my day. And she commented on one of my TikToks and she said, Happy New Year and so good to see you here. I love to listen to your podcast from Greenland. You guys, she's listening in Greenland. Thank you for reminding me of all of the good stuff in the world. I think that is so awesome, and it is so rewarding to know that my messaging has made it all the way to Greenland. That there is someone across the globe who has resonated with me. I just find that to be so rewarding. Social media is so amazing. Technology is so amazing. I just absolutely love it. It seriously gives me chills when I think about how interconnected. We all are. I absolutely love it. So Krista T, thank you for saying hello over on TikTok. All right. So why am I sharing this with you? First of all, because it's really kind of fun. It's really kind of fun to share those wins and the things that are going well and to celebrate growth. It's kind of fun for me. I'll be honest about that. That's my ego getting in the way. And also I'm sharing it with you because that's what we're going to be exploring today is the idea of celebrating wins, celebrating your own wins, Celebrating other people's wins and really becoming curious about what is happening for you internally. So many of my listeners, you know, the helpers, the healers, and the people pleasers, we have an easier time celebrating other people than we do ourselves. We might even notice that we have a lot of judgments around celebrating in general. We think now you got to. Humble yourself and you got to simmer down and it's not good to celebrate those things. So today I just really want us to get really curious about what is happening for us internally so that we can decide if we want to continue down that line of thinking or not. Just get curious. So I would really love to know. Do you celebrate your wins? Why or why not? Let me know. So I recently asked on both my business page and my personal page for people to share their wins with me. These could be big wins or small wins. I just wanted to know what people were doing and what was going on in their world. And so I'm really hoping that it's okay that I'm going to be sharing some of those wins on here. I am just so proud of my people. I want to shout their wins from the rooftops. So I'm gonna go ahead and share a few of these. Some of these are written by people that I know. Some of these are written by people that I haven't met yet, but I just think that it's awesome to see people's individual growth. So here we go. Here's a few of their wins. All right. So Savannah got a new job and it's a job that she loves. That is awesome, right? Not only to have a job and a way to provide for self, but to have also be something that you enjoy is so fulfilling. I love that. Thank you for sharing Savannah. Cody said that she has become better at keeping her commitment. And I think that is so awesome. And how powerful for your relationships, right? Not only for your relationships with other people where they are able to see that, wow, Cody is somebody that shows up when she says she's going to show up. I know that I can count on Cody that she is a person of integrity, but also what any impact that must have on her own relationship with herself, right? That yes, I know that I am a person of integrity and that I follow through on my commitment. So I think that is fantastic. Cody. Awesome. Sherry said that she is almost finished writing her book, and I think that is too cool. It is honestly a dream of mine to write a book, and so I think that is so awesome Sherry that you are nearly done with yours. I cannot wait to hear all about it. Tanesa said that she ran her first 50 mile trail race. What? Okay, now that is a huge accomplishment in and of itself, but guess what else you guys? She said, yeah, it was her first 50 mile trail race, and she beat her goal time by three That's amazing. That's amazing. hours. What? I cannot even wrap my head around that. I can't wrap my head around running 50 miles, first of all, and then to beat your goal time by three hours. That is fantastic. That is like tons of celebrating going on, right? Two celebrations happening there. I love it. Um, Emily said that she survived a really hard year and I so appreciate her sharing this because the truth is life is 50 50, right? It's 50 percent awesome and 50 percent really hard and when we have those hard times celebrating that we made it through that helps to increase our resilience and it helps to let other people know that they can also make it through. So thank you so much Emily for sharing that. Kim lost 110 pounds. Wow. That is amazing. What a huge accomplishment. And Kim is somebody that I have always found to be quite beautiful, but now I really love that when I see the pictures that she's posting of herself, she really feels beautiful. And I think that is awesome. So well done, Kim. That is so inspiring. And I'm sure that took a lot of hard work and dedication. So fantastic. That's awesome. There were also several people in their forties and beyond that have decided to go back to school, and that is amazing. I am somebody who went back to school later in life. I went back to college later in life and then I started attending the Life Coach school later in life. And I know what a challenge that can be, right? It really takes a lot of concerted effort. I recognized, oh boy, I've kind of. Slipped on a few things that had become routine when I was a student and I always have been a lifelong learner But it was really interesting to see how different my mind worked when I was studying to pass a test Versus studying because I just really loved the information. I love it when those two things collide And you are so excited about all the things that you're learning and it also prepares you for the test But I know that's not always the case when you're going back to school. So well done to everybody going back to school I think that that is fantastic And these are just a few of the accomplishments that were posted. There were so many more, and it was so amazing to see everything that everybody had accomplished. They had set out to do in 2023. They set out to do it, and they accomplished it. It was inspiring. So, as I read off those accomplishments, I want you to just be really curious about what came up for you. Notice what thoughts you had around that. Were you happy for these people? Did you maybe feel envious? Did you find yourself thinking thoughts like, Wow, that is so cool! Hey, I could do that too! Or were you maybe thinking thoughts that somehow their success meant something negative about you, that you were inadequate. They maybe had privileges that you didn't have, or, or different things. Just kind of noticed. What was coming up for you as I read those. Just notice it. And if you don't like the reactions that you were having around celebrating these other people's successes, message me and let's workshop it. It's a really interesting thing to really get clear on, because once you can bring that into your conscious awareness, boy, there is so much growth that comes from that. There is just so much information to be gained when we are able to recognize not only what we think and feel around other people's successes but also what are we thinking and feeling when we are entertaining the idea of celebrating our own success that we would like to share. So as you're thinking about these other people and the things that they were willing to share on social media about their success, just kind of notice. Maybe you were thinking thoughts like, they're so cocky. Or, why couldn't that be me? Or, you know what? They just got lucky. There is no way that they're going to be able to repeat that success. Or, I wish that I could have what they have. It's just not fair. Their success, it somehow takes away from my success or the success of others. Or maybe you're even just thinking, You know what? I don't want to hear about it. It just makes me feel worse about my life. So just kind of notice that become that curious observer and also notice if you have a win to share with other people That you're considering sharing notice if you find yourself thinking thoughts like I'm worried about how other people will respond Or if they'll respond at all. What if they don't support me? It's not that big of a deal It's not really something we're celebrating or maybe you're thinking well What if I share my success this time, but the next time I do this I fail That would be so embarrassing. So it's better for me to just not share at all. Or maybe you're thinking, I don't want to be seen as cocky. I need to be humble. And that means that I shouldn't talk about my success. Or maybe you're also thinking, you know what, others have achieved so much more. So really my success isn't that big of a deal. If you are thinking thoughts like these, just notice what are these thoughts creating for you? Because more than likely they are not creating warm and fuzzy feelings. More than likely it's creating heaviness and insecurity and jealousy and envy and those don't feel super great. Am I right? Now, in my coaching calls, I begin each call by asking my client to share with me a win. From the last week and sometimes these wins are things like I got the job I was really nervous about it, but I got the job and I'm so excited and other times the wins are things like you know What I realized earlier on in that relationship that I needed to reinforce a boundary And that is so cool, right? No matter what the win is, I celebrate all of these wins with the same level of enthusiasm. I am genuinely happy for my clients when they experience a success. Whether they think that that success is big or small, I love celebrating it with them and I truly do treat them all with the same level of enthusiasm because growth is something worth celebrating. Now for many people pleasers, they can celebrate other people's success and also it can be a challenge for them to celebrate their own success. And it's kind of an interesting thing to notice, right? Because the truth is, the greater our capacity is to celebrate and feel into joy for ourselves, the greater our capacity is for us to feel into and experience joy as we celebrate other people. So it truly does everybody a disservice when we minimize that. And it serves the whole world when we're willing to put ourselves out there and say, yes, this is possible. Yes, I did this. Yes, I accomplished this. These are all my circumstances and this is how I overcame. It is such a benefit to the world. Now I know that one of the things that held me back for a long time, especially around my coaching practice, was fear of other people's reactions. You know, who am I to be a life coach? Who am I to help people navigate their life? Who am I to help people problem solve? Right? Who am I to do any of that? And I know that there are some people in my life who, they really don't like it when I share a win. And that's on them, right? That's about them. I've had some people unfollow me after I've shared about my growth. It can make some people feel uncomfortable. And it took me a while to recognize that their ability or inability to show up for me, it wasn't actually about me. That was about them and what was happening for them. More than likely, they were thinking some of those negative thoughts that we went over earlier, where somehow they were making it mean that me having a success meant that they were somehow inadequate. So just kind of notice if that's something that maybe comes up for you. I know it came up for me oftentimes, and it, it really kind of stunted my growth in many ways. It made me less likely to put myself out there. And it did take me a while to overcome the discomfort that comes from that, from thinking the thought, My Success is making somebody else feel so uncomfortable. So I shouldn't be successful. It took me a while to overcome that. And I confess that sometimes when someone acknowledges that they have a discomfort around it, I do have to self coach around it, or I need to phone a friend and see if one of my coaching friends will swap coaching with me. I need to do some coaching around it because I am in fact still human and I have very human emotions. And it can be challenging when somebody in your life, not only are they unable to celebrate your success, but maybe they're actually devaluing it or minimizing your success. But here's the thing. And I really want you to listen closely to this. How other people respond to your wins is about them. And don't you dare let other people's reactions. Determine your worth. Now when I started this podcast over 75 episodes ago, you guys, over 75 episodes ago, what? When I first started this podcast, I was pretty nervous about putting myself out there. In fact, I recorded 7 episodes and I didn't share them with a single soul, not even my husband, right? I kept them very sacred to myself because I knew that I had a tendency C, to become really insecure around other people's judgments around my success, I thought this is gonna be great, and I am gonna really learn the ropes. I know that there's gonna be challenges to overcome. I know that it can be a challenge to learn the technology, to learn how to edit, to increase in confidence in front of a microphone and a camera. That takes a lot of work. Right? But I knew that over time, I would get better. And I thought, for whatever reason in my brain, I thought, if I can make seven episodes, that will give me enough evidence to see that I can be consistent, that I can show up well, that I'm going to improve over time. And then I will finally feel secure enough within myself that I can start to post my content without, being too negatively impacted by other people's perceptions of what it was that I was doing. And here's the really interesting thing is when I did finally post my first episode, it was really interesting to notice where I received the positive feedback and where I received the negative feedback. It was really fascinating for me to see that the people that had the most, shall we call it constructive criticism, around my podcast were people that had never produced a podcast before. They had never actually done anything to put themselves in the public eye. They had never been interviewed on a podcast. They've never done any public speaking. speaking. And it was really interesting to see that they were the ones that had the most critical feedback around different things that I should do. In hindsight, it really makes me wonder, I wonder what their thoughts were around that. How interesting that the feedback that they had to offer was more negative than positive, when this is something that I'm, you know, excited about and working to create. It just created some, internal reflection for me around, okay, so how am I showing up for other people when somebody does something new and exciting? How do I show up? Do I show up in that lens of positivity? Do I show up through that lens of, oh yeah, well, that was just a fluke or what is happening for me internally? So I encourage you to just get super duper curious about it. And seek out those people that can really love and support you. And it was other people that really honestly felt very confident in themselves, that they were the ones that showed up and they were just genuinely happy for me. And they're saying, wow, I can't believe you're doing this. It's something I've always wanted to do, and I can't believe that you took the time to learn the tech to learn how to do it. Like, that's so exciting. It was just really interesting to compare these two groups of people. When I first started this podcast, I actually joined a Facebook group just for female podcasters for women specifically that wanted to create a podcast. And it has been so nice for me that all of these other women were all doing the same thing. We were able to follow each other on social media, follow each other's podcast. And that I was able to be a part of that community that was able to offer support where we were able to show up and love and support for each other. And these were people that actually knew what I was working on and could actually be excited and, and track all those things with me and be excited about like, wow, I can't believe how cool that editing is. Like, what app are you using to do that? And Ooh. Hey, I'd love to hear more about where you found your intro and outro music. You know, we could just love and support each other and share in that excitement. And so if you aren't feeling supported as you're sharing your successes, just kind of notice that, that, Oh, well maybe I should intentionally look for places and spaces where I can continue to learn and grow and celebrate my wins with other people where it does actually feel fulfilling for me. So, why do I share this with you? Because if you are going through life with the intention of not creating any waves, of not receiving any negative feedback, and of never making anyone feel uncomfortable, then you're probably not going to be living the highest version of yourself. You're probably not going to be experiencing as much success as you could otherwise. You're probably not going to be experiencing as much growth and happiness. As you would if you were willing to experience those negative emotions, right? But if you are willing to lean into the discomfort that can come from putting yourself out there and investing your energy into looking for and celebrating the wins. You will experience more growth and happiness than you can imagine. And that's the key, right? Is actually seeking out those wins. What you focus on expands. So if you're focused on the wins, that's what you're going to be creating more of. Now the brain is constantly looking for evidence that whatever it is that you're thinking about is true. So that means that if you were thinking thoughts like it's not that big of a deal or well So and so does it better or it's not really gonna make that big of a difference Do you know what evidence your brain is gonna be looking for? Your brain is going to be showing you all of the evidence why what you were doing is not actually a big deal It's gonna be showing you evidence why so and so always does it better and they will forever Do it better than you. That's just what your brain's going to do. It's going to be giving you that evidence that what you were doing is not actually making a difference. So just know that that's what your brain is going to want to do and intentionally flip the script. Okay? Let's give our brain the assignment to look for and celebrate those wins. Because as I said, what you focus on expands. So if you want more things to celebrate, Celebrate your wins along the way. That's how you can create that abundance mindset is actually being grateful for the things you have and celebrating those wins, even if they're just small right now. And that will set you on the path for those bigger wins. Now, most of my clients meet with me weekly, and this means that once a week we are celebrating their wins. And when we're doing this, we are essentially showing their brain that yes. I can do it. Yes, this has made a difference. Yes, I am growing and changing in amazing ways. And it's one of my favorite things to do. In fact, at the end of our six weeks together, because right now I do six week sessions with people and for our sixth. session. That's always my most favorite one because we spend basically the bulk of the session reflecting back on all of the growth that they have experienced in our six weeks together. And it is so fun to have that dedicated space to celebrating that growth. It's absolutely one of my favorite things. So what might happen if you started dedicating time to celebrate your wins? And maybe this is something that happens once a week, or maybe this is something you want to implement around the dinner table, where you take turns going around the dinner table and having everybody share one win. that they experienced that day. How much would that increase each person's level of confidence? How much would that inspire everybody else that they too can overcome? How much would that increase your personal resilience and the resilience of everybody that's sharing to share that? Yes, I overcame and it was such an amazing experience for me. There are so many things to celebrate if we're willing to look for them. So celebrate. Celebrate making that phone call for that appointment that you've been putting off. Celebrate that you cleaned your bedroom and you even washed your sheets. That's fantastic. Celebrate that you've gone for a walk every day, regardless of the weather. Every single day so far this year. Right? And the more you look for things to celebrate, the more your mind will find even more ways to create those things to celebrate. Oftentimes we think, well, it's just my personality that I, you know, don't find the positive and that I'm biased towards the negative. No, it's just your brain. And guess what? Your personality, it's just actions and thoughts and behaviors that you've been practicing for a long time. So if you want to be someone who is more optimistic, train your brain to look for those things to celebrate. It can make a huge. Now here in the podcast, we have talked before about setting aside time and space to feel and process the hard emotions. And I really want you to open yourself up to the idea of also setting aside time to feel and process the positive emotions. Notice if you have any resistance coming up around that, I would say one of the most common resistances that come up is people think number one, that they need to be humble. And also another fear that comes up is, but if I celebrate the win, I'm, you know, I'm basically just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Even if the other shoe does drop, why not enjoy this time while things are going great, right? So notice if you have these thoughts coming in that are preventing you from celebrating your growth or celebrating other people's growth. So for your brain's sake, I want to share with you seven reasons to celebrate you and your success. You ready? All right, number one, it boosts confidence and reminds you that you can and have come a long way. Number two, it supports a positive mindset. Our brains tend to be biased towards the negative, but you can retrain your brain to seek out things to be grateful for. Number three, it can motivate future endeavors. So you might discover that you're thinking thoughts like, wow, I did that. I wonder what might happen if I keep going. That is so awesome. Number four, it enhances emotional well being. When we're spending our time and energy focusing on what we did well, even in challenging situations, it helps us to feel better about things. So for example, maybe we didn't super love that uncomfortable conversation, but we do super love how we showed up in that uncomfortable. conversation. Number five, it can inspire others. I cannot tell you how inspired I was by all of my friends posting about the amazing things that they did. I so appreciate them for showing me what is possible with a little time and a little dedication. All right, number six, celebrating wins creates a positive feedback loop. Now, as you acknowledge and celebrate these small victories, you're more likely to approach challenges with a positive mindset, and this can lead to greater success in the future. Number seven, celebrating wins contributes to developing resilience. It teaches you to bounce back from setbacks, to learn from failures, and to continue pursuing your goals. And maybe you need a little bit more support when it comes to finding these thoughts that are more supportive for you as you work to retrain your brain to look for and celebrate the whims. So I'm going to let you borrow some of my favorite thoughts. And yes, I will put these thoughts in the show notes and I will also create a visual for social media so that you can keep them handy while you rewire your brain. to be your own best cheerleader. So here we go. You ready? I have worked hard for this, and that hard work is something to be celebrated. Sharing my success can show others what is possible and inspire them to achieve their goals. This wasn't a fluke. I know all of the work that went into this and this hard work has paid off. By sharing my wins, I set a positive example to others to celebrate their achievements too. My success can empower others to believe in their capability and pursue their dreams. I am my own best cheerleader. I can always celebrate me even if others don't currently have the capacity to do so. Everyone's journey is unique and I can celebrate my milestones along my path. My success has a positive impact on me and potentially on those around me. Sharing my success is a way to express joy and gratitude for positive outcomes. All right, so here's your mission should you choose to accept it. Are you ready? Celebrate wins this week. This might be celebrating your own wins. It might be celebrating other people's wins. But practice celebrating wins and just notice what that experience is like for you. Just be curious about what's coming up as you practice Celebrating wins and just notice for yourself, which experience feels like a greater challenge. Is it more challenging to celebrate yourself or more challenging to celebrate other people? And use all of this as information, right? There are no wrong answers here. Just notice it and also just notice how these thoughts and feelings might shift a bit as you practice celebrating yourself and other people. Now, I recently had somebody pop up in my Instagram feed who shared a beautiful insight. She said that she had started noticing more and more where her triggers are coming from. She gave the example of watching this dancer and this dancer was beautiful, she was strong, she was confident, she was poised, she was everything that this person wanted to be. And she noticed within herself she was experiencing some envy and some jealousy and some negative thoughts and feelings towards this dancer. And what I thought was really beautiful was that she brought that into her conscious awareness and got really curious about what was happening for her. And after the performance, she actually went up to the dancer and she told her, she thought she was so beautiful and strong and confident and she thanked her. She told her, Hey, you are so incredible and you're so poised and confidence and thank you. Thank you for being my mirror. Thank you for showing me what it is. That I have been desiring to become myself. Thank you for that. And I think that that's really what it all comes down to. When we are uncomfortable with another person's success, it's often because it has triggered something inside of us that has viewed us as inadequate in some way. It's revealing, essentially, our perception of lack rather than abundance. But it doesn't have to be that way. We can start to even celebrate those experiences just like this person, where we can say, Yes, thank you for showing me what it is that I want to create in my life, so that I can take steps towards that goal. Thank you. Thank you for showing me that. Thank you for revealing that to me. We can switch our jealousy into inspiration and motivation. And hey, I want to hear what you are celebrating. So come and find me on social media. I am super tempted to just post every single day this week to have everybody share a win. So if you Experience a win. I would love to hear about it. So you know what? When I'm done recording this, I'm gonna absolutely do that. I'm gonna go and schedule out each day of the week that this podcast is up. I want to hear what it is that you're celebrating so I can celebrate with you. I enjoy building a community, and I think that we really do learn a lot from each other, and it is so rewarding to just. Celebrate with each other and to build a community that celebrates success. I love, love, love women supporting other women. I know I have some men on here listening too, so thank you for being here and for listening all of you men. Um, but yeah, I would love to hear what it is that you are celebrating. So come and share on social media what it is that you are celebrating. I'll put all the links in the show notes, so come and find me. But yeah, I hope you have a great week and let's talk soon. All right, bye now.