85: Compassionate Curiosity

It is easy to assume that because someones experience or proximity is similar, that it is the same. Assuming sameness negatively impacts empathy and connection. 

Work to be curiously compassionate towards others. Ask what their experience is... and the believe them!  You may just be surprised at the insights that can be gained when we allow ourselves to be curious about another's perspective or experience. 86

Transcript

0:18

Well, hello and welcome back to my Monday mini session. I think I finally decided on Monday minis. So welcome to Monday minis. I actually recorded this outside on my phone and for whatever reason, I couldn't get the video to transfer from my phone to my computer. I was going to show you what the weather is like outside because you guys, it is crazy out there today. We moved to Northern Utah from Kansas and in Kansas, we were very used to. The ice storms that we get out there, but now we're getting used to having Utah snow. It has been a lot of snow. And with this last storm, I got a text this morning saying that school was still on schedule. The buses were on time and so they were moving forward and I thought, okay, I guess if it's good enough for the buses, that's good enough for me. So I made it about a block taking my high schooler to school because she is still so nervous about this Utah snow and I don't blame her. Because I got stuck one block away. And I could not move. I could not go forward. I could not go backwards. I was stuck. And there were four men that stopped to help to push me out. And I decided, you know, what, if I can't even get across main street to get to the high school, I'm not going to try. Like if I'm getting stuck this easily. So I just turned around and came right home and we spent the day at home and it was so interesting because then later then the school said, no, Uh, notification, they said, yeah, we made a mistake. It was so interesting to just see that they were first thing. Yeah, it's totally fine. Buses are great. And then it was 15 minutes after school started that. They said, okay, well, we're going to have a delayed start. So school will actually be starting for another hour. And then they sent out their email. Even after that saying, yeah, we made a mistake. Sorry. We should have been prioritizing our students and our faculty. And we hope everybody's safe. So it was just really interesting to see how it all played out and different people's perceptions and experiences of the exact same storm. Now when I had my high schooler stay home, I told my beauty school student daughter, I said, you know what? I don't want you to go out there. Like our little cul-de-sac here. Hasn't been plowed yet. Um, the roads are horrible. I didn't even make it a block. I don't want you to even try to go until we have seen a plow because it's just not safe. And her classmates were still going to class. And one of the classmates was sending videos cause she was on her way to the school. She saw multiple vehicles off of the road. There was one point where there was an accident and the road was blocked off. You could see one car off of the side, in a ditch and all of the emergency lights flashing as all of the vehicles arrived there. But what was interesting was the one that sent those videos saying, wow, like, look how terrible this is when she woke up. Then all of our classmates were saying in the group thread about boy, I don't know if I'm going to make it today. And she looked out her window and she was like, okay, really guys, because I can see grass there's grass outside. So what is happening? And we all live in the same valley. So it was really interesting that yeah, like storms come and the impact everybody so differently. And it is so easy to assume that because we're a part of the same storm system that it's impacting us in the same way. And I think that this really applies to life because oftentimes someone is going through a very similar experience. They get a similar diagnosis or they have a similar conflict in their relationship, or they're also going through a divorce or they have a similar thing going on with their child. And we assume that because it's similar. That it's the same. We assume that we know how to help them. We assume that we know how to meet them, where they're at. We assume that we know if it's safe for them to drive to school or not that day. Right. We make all of these assumptions about their situation and their circumstance because of our experience. And perspective. And so for today's little mindful mini or what did I call it? I even changed the name just now. Anyway, you know what I mean? I really want you to be aware of remaining open. Be open to receiving people where they're actually at to try to stay in that place of compassionate, curiosity and wonder, Hey, like I got to work. Okay. This morning. What was your experience like? It is so easy to dismiss other people and say, well, because I made it to work safely, then you should be just fine. Or because I made it to school safely. You should be just fine. We make all of these assumptions about other people's experiences. But today, I want you to really practice that compassionate. Curiosity. Practice wondering what their experience might be like for them and stop assuming that because you live in the same valley that you are experiencing the same severity when it comes to those storms of life. All right. That's all I have for you today. I hope you have a great one. Let's talk soon. Bye now.